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Life with My Crab

AMDG, Life with My Crab, MOMMYHOOD, TH Wedding


In the 10 years since we met and now the 7 years since we married, it’s been something every year. Every single year. It’s like we are on the crazy train on a fast track. I will illustrate here:

First-time parents
Relocation, first-time home owners
Birth of second child, loss of a parent
Relocation, cohabitating with family
First-time home renovation, return to work
COVID-19 global pandemic

A superstitious person is anxious about year seven of marriage–so I am hoping “the Virus Crisis” is our thing for this year. It may be the thing for next year too. It also makes me anxious.

Between this big moment (ten years together and seven years married) and less “busy-ness” leaving (way too much) space for inner dialogue, I’ve been ruminating over my thoughts and taking stock of our life in the midst of COVID-19.

Where have we been?

  • See illustration above.
  • I am reminded of our wedding and the baptism of our kids when I work, and it always feels like a million moons ago. Do we look like those same people? Are we washed-up has beens?
  • Yes, we left Texas to be closer to family and my support system. Right about now that seems like a moot point–whether we live here or there, we aren’t with them.
  • Then T suggests that if we had stayed in Texas, we would have a pool and a renovated (huge) kitchen to enjoy in quarantine…

Where are we now?

  • We certainly did not envision spending so much time in our 1,200 sq ft home living, working, and playing. Between, school, work, activities and freedom to move about, our home would be more like a crash pad. Does that mean we made a bad decision?
  • The current instability is unsettling, especially for those of us used to the comfort of planning and predictability (a privilege). I’m becoming more self-aware of my control impulses and anxiety management. Interfacing with couples who were planning weddings and parents arranging baptisms puts me on the other side of the fence, being asked questions to which there are no definitive answers (but demanding answers anyway–which I get).

Where are we going?

My church friend (who was previously the Wedding Madam) reminded me today that a favorite priest loves to say, “we plan and God laughs”. So is planning for our future futile? It does seem like a missed lesson from this “press pause” to try to exert control over what cannot be controlled. But YEAH RIGHT! then my anxious mind would have nothing to think about. Examples:

  • We must provide stability for our kids
  • I do not know if we can settle down, make any long-terms decisions about school, home, job or our life anytime soon, or be those people who stay in the same place for 20, 30, 40, 50 years
  • I am always changing my mind, but…
Life with My Crab

And the shot heard ’round the world

Overheard at Tottering Hall tonight:

M: I want to get a rain barrel. You good with that?
T: What are you going to do with it? Make love? Dance in a circle?

Sweet Jesus. For real?! It’s NOT that hippie crunchy. And it doesn’t have to look like crap!


But how apropos–he just sent me this article yesterday for all of my free-time reading: How Many Republicans Marry Democrats?

For the record, though, Mary Matalin recently changed her party registration from Republican to Libertarian.

p.s. I love James Carville. LOVE. He’s like my old man crush. For real, y’all. I remember walking to work at (undisclosed employer) listening to the most recent book they wrote together, Love & War: Twenty Years, Three Presidents, Two Daughters and One Louisiana Home, and it was just such a happy start to my day. Kind of like when they still lived in Old Town Alexandria before they moved back to New Orleans and I would run into him getting coffee at Starbucks in the morning when I was working at (undisclosed employer).

I’ve been thinking a bunch about (undisclosed employer) lately. STT and I are making a girls weekend in Denver at the end of the month, and after Becky mentioned that the botanic garden there is “so good”, I remembered it was a signature (undisclosed employer) project. Like, all of the good botanic garden work was in Colorado. But those were the good old days–when I was hell-spent on pursuing urban design and sustainability and still loathing living in America after returning from London.


Back in the good old days when I was more more hip than I could handle. Which brings me back to the beginning, in the present time. Here I am not just living IN AMERICA but in TEXAS in a suburban, single-family home, married to a Republican (but if he doesn’t vote, does he actually count?) and working on my mom jeans. Couldn’t be further from that hip, young, urban and anti-patriotic girl (yep, I’ve been thinking a lot about that girl as I’m packing for our big fourth of July celebrations in Louisiana this weekend). What a complex web of irony. BUT I STILL WANT A RAIN BARREL. And I still love James Carville.

Happy Fourth of July, y’all. Celebrate before we all start crying in November, regardless of political party.